Building is a good metaphor for self-esteem. The building analogy implies planning. It demands work. It needs a solid foundation to be successful. Building is an active process that is reliant on mutual cooperation with folk. All these elements are necessary to construct your self-esteem in a way that lasts.
No one who plans on building a home expects that house to erect itself without any effort. Interestingly , many that lack self-esteem are waiting for it to simply materialize, even while they relax, eat ice cream and moan it's taking too much time to be OK with themselves.
Of course, my waxing vicious will not help, either. This comes from my impatience towards myself. Part of me would like to maintain my self image without doing what I need to do each day to take care of myself, respect folks, work conscientiously, and such like. You could call this a “child” aspect of my personality that, when in control, expects something for nothing. In fact , it is a sign of low self confidence to expect things to be sorted for you. As if you suspect you cannot do what needs to be done on your own, or you are not worth the effort.
Isn’t self-esteem our legacy? Well, not exactly, and the legacy metaphor isn’t helpful to start with. If I am entitled to something “if it is my true legacy “then I don't need to do anything to earn it and self-confidence simply doesn't abide in this way. Even folk with naturally high self image can easily mess it up by neglectfulness toward the necessities of living happily.
This leaves us in a little bit of a quandary. If you start out with the low belief you're not worth any effort to become content and healthy, then how are you going to ever get started? Where does incentive for self-esteem come from?
The good news here is that the issue isn’t binary. It is not an either-or situation. You may indeed feel pointless to care for yourself. But that's only some of the time. At different times you're feeling more constructive. These more positive, less negative feelings represent a vital and mandatory part of building pride.
In the programme Doing Self Esteem, you learn to harness these moments to make the most of them. If you do learn to make the maximum of them; if you do not waste these dear moments, you'll soon find the scales starting to tip favour of your general health and self-respect. Tipping the scales constantly is all you need.
Rich Goodrich is an NLP specialist who offers NLP Specialist Ratification Online.
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