Self esteem describes a child’s general feelings of self-worth. Negative or positive self esteem influences our desires, interests, personal beliefs, abilities and actions, says the Nemours Foundation. Furthermore, parents play a critical role in developing and improving self esteem in their children. The Nemours Foundation puts it this way: “As kids try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed, they develop ideas about their own capabilities. At the same time, they’re creating a self-concept based on interactions with other people.” Experts say there are several things we, as parents, can do to improve confidence in our youngsters.
Positive encouragement is one of the best ways to build self esteem in your child. Celebrate the small victories with your child when he or she gets an “A” on a test or wins an award at school. Perhaps you’ll go out for ice cream, buy a special present or hold a small party for the important milestones in your little one’s life. Children can be very sensitive and receptive to their parents’ feedback, says the Nemours Foundation, so it is important to praise your child when he or she has demonstrated significant effort — even if the end result is not success. It is important that parents don’t lie to the child and over-inflate each success, yet parents should always provide honest, consistent and encouraging feedback.
In improving self esteem, you must sometimes catch and correct the inaccurate beliefs your child has. It is essential that you listen to what your child is saying very carefully and correct any falsehoods or negativity immediately before a patterned way of thinking develops. For instance, your child may say, “I failed this test; I am a failure!” It is then your opportunity to step in and say, “You are not a failure, honey. Everybody fails sometimes. We can work on the hard parts so you do better next time. Practice makes perfect!” Another method is the inquisitive approach, where you encourage the child to reassess his or her statements as a way of building esteem. You might ask, “What makes you feel like you are a failure? How did you do on the last test you took? How are you doing in your other subjects? What questions did you get right on the test? What would you do differently next time to prevent a low score?” Your children will have healthier self concepts if you help them set realistic standards in evaluating their performances.
Many parents wonder, “What techniques for improving self esteem can I use in everyday life?” First and foremost, tell your children you love them each and everyday, no matter how aloof they may seem. Deep down, this does matter a lot more than you think. Secondly, praise your children for jobs well done and for honest efforts. Thirdly, spend time with your children — even if it’s only 10 or 15 minutes of quality, one-on-one, undistracted time some days. Truly listen to what your child has to say — and if you don’t have the time that moment, at least say, “Can we make a special time to talk a little later?” And keep your promise. Fourth of all, be sure to be involved in your child’s activities. You may need to sit through an endless stream of ballet recitals, sports games, concerts and awards ceremonies, but your presence is critical to increase self esteem in your child.
Matthew McMillan is a leading expert in the genital wart cure. His works are regularly featured in online health publications on matters relating genital wart remedies. For more information, visit TreatmentForGenitalWarts.com.
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